It's 4.2 day and I'm excited to have a new zone, quests, new raid, and three-nights to attack it with, all in the same week! Excitement abounds and I can't wait to go home and revel in the disconnecting, crashing, buggy hell that is Patch Day Raiding! But who cares, after all? This is what we're looking forward to!
Evidently, I've been looking forward to 4.2 for some time with anticipation, excitement, hope - and no small amount of trepidation.
There is a small worm twisting in my thoughts, a dark cloud behind that silver lining, and I can't keep a bitter note from ringing through this excitement. I don't exactly know what it is that is making me nervous, what's to happen will happen and much of it is out of my control.
After the recruitment hell of 4.0 and 4.1, I'm worried about going through that all over again, especially with summer looming. The guild leveling thing is an issue that murders me dead every time I PUG someone awesome, check their recruitment status and they tell me they don't want to leave their level 25 guild. Most of my guildies are playing alts in other guilds or servers (and to be fair, I'm hiding on an alt myself lately), and I'm just worried that 4.2 will be no different from 4.1 for me, and I'll have to beg, cajole, plead and drag people to fill a raid team.
On another hand, while I'm not very competitive on the raiding ladder (I think the best we crawled up to was the mid-teens in ranking last tier after we killed Nef?) I don't really want to fall too far behind either. When I see people walking around in raid gear and titles and mounts, I start to get a bit ornery and grumpy and jealous because I know I can play at that level, and what's holding us back isn't gear, or ability, but the pure logistics of filling a raid.
The last tier of raiding just about broke me. It is the closest I've come to quitting the game out of sheer frustration. I've written about all my issues before, and I won't rehash them again. Running raids and guilds isn't always fun, or joyous. There are certainly moments when you realize why you suffer and struggle through it, and those moments just about make up for all the shit.
But standing here, at the mouth of a new patch, staring down three or four months of raids - I'm worried. I don't know if I have the stamina to go through this again.