I had originally planned to write about all kinds of productive stuff, like the guides I've been putting together for raids or my recently discovered love for my Warlock or something else that is good, but the last week has been just difficult in game. And I should probably not post this but I keep going over it in my head so I don't want to sit on it and hope that writing about it in public will help me sort it out.
This kind of emotion only comes up when we talk about our Guilds of course, and that's what I'm going on about. Our raids are doing well and I'm very happy with them. I love my raid team, I love the people who show up week after week, we have a great time talking and killing bosses, Tuesday and Wednesday nights are fantastic. But then, the guild just dies.
Most of the rest of the week, barely anyone logs in and there is little of that banter and friendship that I crave in the game.
Part of the problem is that a few members are just in the guild to raid - that is, they have their other guilds and log out on Wednesday and I don't see them again until the next week. Part of the problem is that we don't really have socials in the guild - we formed it as a small core of raiders and we never really expanded beyond it as we knew that we couldn't offer more to people so we never tried.
But whatever the problem actually is, I wind up logging in more often now than last year due to having a baby which has curtailed my social-out-of-house-time quite a bit, and I kind of want to hang out with friends when I'm online. I crave that social aspect of the game that bigger guilds have with a lot of socials and people online all the time.
I know that our current guild can't support that. Thistle, our GM, and I are running the whole show, and have no support from other officers (not that there are other officers), so we can't really do much more than really focus on the raids and then we're done.
Sometimes I do wish I could take a step back, and just be Paladin number 27B5 in a large raid or guild and not worry about building teams, planning progression and so forth, and enjoy my time with a larger community - but there is no way I can justify leaving my current guild. I have worked super hard to keep it together, and progressing, and I don't want to give up on it.
On the other hand, I don't think I'm getting what I want out of the game socially in my guild. I've thought about moving an alt into another guild or something but I do have this crazy voice in my head that freaks out when I'm not playing in my guild or contributing Guild-XP.
And on some crazy seventh hand (we're up to that many caveats and options by now) I am deeply, deeply in love with the end-game - whether Arena or Raiding, and when I'm on an alt and play it for any amount of time (say, 2 hours) I immediately start working to accumulate honor and justice without even realizing it.
I've talked to a couple of people, and what I hear is that if you're not already in a friendly, social, large guild that has an end-game segment within it, it's super-hard to get in, and most other folks are in non-social, small raiding guilds. So I don't know if the WoW I used to know where lots of friends were in guilds, we raided and did stuff together all the time, and really saw each-other more often we saw our RL friends.
So I don't know what to do, really. Except not log in during non-raid-nights and do something else instead, or find another game to play on those nights, because I really crave gaming and socializing at the same time and I really, really miss it in WoW these days.