It's funny how fast things can go from being okay to just total crap.
This week's raids have been the worst in months. Struggling to get even simple bosses down, and just a total lack of communication until I have to ask the same question eight times to get answers from people. The kind of nights you just want to end. And then after an hour of trying to pull things together, someone's connection craps out and you just want to log out and never log in again.
So I called raid, and told everyone I was canceling raids for next week as well. We'll regroup on the 15th - with whoever doesn't leave the guild by then - and see how things go from there. I'm also going to just not log in during this time and try to focus on other stuff. I have a lot of writing on my plate anyway.
It's funny that the news about 4.1 not containing Firelands hit yesterday night as were raiding and it just made me smirk with irony. Their reasoning that most content is still not down across most servers really struck me, it was both cynical and appropriate and for the first time, really, I'm very disappointed with Blizzard's decision to reuse old content exclusively in the patch.
On another level, I'm profoundly disappointed with myself. As a raid lead I take very personal responsibility for any failure and I square blame this week on myself, despite the issues with individual people. I should have been able to fix the situations that were causing the issues, and since I couldn't, the failure is mine, and that stings a good deal.
Raiding is what I love to do in the game, it's why I play this game, and when it goes badly, my whole taste for the game goes sour. I get that everybody has an off week now and again, but I don't know, this was just so hideously discouraging.
I'm hoping some time away from the game will give me perspective and I'll be able to come back and have fun again. But for now, I'm going to leave my Authenticator at work and just not log in for a while.